Crusts off to the all-time classic!
Ah, nostalgia! The wonderful feeling you get when something triggers a memory from your past. The sweet smell of wildflowers takes you back to that wonderful mush trip you had in that obscure field somewhere in the middle of nowhere at a buddy’s cottage. And the buds you acquired recently reek of your college days. So when a good buzz brings you back, your stomach starts to gurgle with reminiscence of the sweet taste of foods once consumed obsessively, but now lost in the haze. The only sure fire way to quell the beast is to feed it what it craves most: peanut butter and jelly, baby!
And I’m talking the old-school way: Wonder Bread (fuck whole grains, you’re high!), peanut butter on one slice and strawberry jam on the other. Do not try to blend on the same slice. They must meet together for the first time when the two slices of nutrient-deficient bread come together as one. Ah, love at first smush! Because once you’ve sealed the deal, you’ve gotta squash that baby down as flat as you can. Then, if you wanna go kiddie classic, cut the crusts off. Crusts are for birds!
When a good buzz brings you back, your stomach starts to gurgle with reminiscence of the sweet taste of foods once consumed obsessively, but now lost in the haze.
Now the most critical part: remember to grab a glass of milk before your lazy ass hits the sofa, otherwise you’ll be left with smackmouth instead of cottenmouth! And if you find yourself broke-poor one day, you know you can survive on this shit forever. Remember the year when it was the only thing you’d eat for lunch? Besides, if the losers on Big Bother can eat it for two months straight, so can you.
Substitute Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread) for the jelly component. You’ll be the superhero of the kindergarten set.