Munchie of the Month: Candy
Trick or Treat
Hold onto your fillings cuz it time for treats—lots of them, bags full of them, heaps and piles of sugary, sticky, chewy sweets. And, yes, you are going to eat ‘em all! So pace yourself because eventually with hard work and perseverance, you will make it to the very last piece, and experience the pride of having consumed five pounds of candy.
There is no greater joy than the eye-popping thrill of emptying your bag of loot after a ghoulish run through the neighbourhood. It is collective candy insanity that peaks late in the evening of October 31st.
Halloween is right around the corner so let’s revisit the top ten candies you’ll find in that old pillowcase filled with treats (in no particular order).
NIBS resemble little pellets of injection-moulded plastic—and kind of taste like it too. Despite these rather unattractive characteristics NIBS are highly addictive, so once a package is broken open, you’re hooked until they’re all gone. Between the name, the color and the shape, somewhere in my subconscious, I’ve never really been able to separate NIBS from nips, which is perhaps why they are such favourites.
Popeye Candy Sticks
Yes, we all know these were originally called Popeye Cigarettes and really cool to boot with a red candy ember at the tip. Then the world got all politically correct and renamed them “candy sticks.” Well at least Popeye still sports his anchor tattoo and pipe. Suck them to a fine point and give yourself a thrill gauging people’s eyes out. No, no that too wouldn’t be PC!
It’s pink, it’s chewy, it’s bubble gum. Need I say more?
Straight sugar with a little artificial flavour and colour—what more could you ask for? One HEADS staffer admitted she used to meticulously crush all her Rockets with the back of a spoon into a fine powder and them lick it off her moistened fingers. Can you say addictive personality?
In a good haul of trick-or-treating you can never get too many Caramels—and Kraft’s are the best. Soft, chewy, and buttery when fresh. If you have the discipline, allow them to mature—their chew quotient will increase. A carefully ripened Caramel can pull a filling straight out of your teeth.
Exotic. Fruit-like. You may almost convince yourself these little lovelies are good for you…almost! You may also harbour fantasies of six-foot, blond Swedish models feeding these to you. Dream on!
Let’s be honest, Cherry Blossoms don’t come along often but when they do, don’t you feel rich? And devilish, too? The Halloween gods are smiling on you indeed when a Cherry Blossom finds its way into your loot. Rumours have been around for years of the image of a Devil dog in the reflection of the cherry. Devil be damned! These babies are the best!
Sweetarts are the sophisticated older cousin of the Rocket. Made of the same crap but with an elite air to it. Perhaps it is because you need a slightly more developed palette to truly appreciate the “tart” aspect of the Sweetart? Who knows? Who cares? Bite ‘em or suck ‘em—Sweetarts have class.
Lollypops are for babies; Tootsie Pops are for big kids. Cracklin’ crunchy on the outside with, let’s face it, an odd kind of chocolate substance on the inside. Tootsie Pops are cool, and if you eat them, you’re cool too!
Ah! the crack of candy. Skittles are well-documented as being highly addictive. The crunch, the chew, the intense flavour—once you’re hooked there is no going back. If you’ve got zero self-control when it comes to NIBS, Swedish Berries or Rockets, stay away from the Skittles! Just walk away and don’t look back unless you really want to be sharing the company of others like yourself at Overeaters Anonymous.
Add to vodka for a spooky candy martini
Curious Jorge by Phresh Cannabis
Find more Munchies of the Month here