With the launch of our Munchie of the Month column, the first munchie to be featured had to be the Grand Dame of Dinner. You guessed it—Kraft Dinner.
Let’s face it, no other savoury snack fits the bill quite like good ol’ KD. It’s not the fastest munchie choice, admittedly—and it can feel like freaky forever watching the water boil and the little macaronis doing pirouettes when you are stoned out of your gourd—but KD actually makes you feel like you are actually, well, cooking something (don’t be fooled by the microwave version, it is but a ghost of the original).
True Kraft Dinner always delivers when you need it most. Somewhere in its list of ingredients—lost between microbial enzymes (yummy!) and lipase (whose ass?)—is the magical ingredient that takes away the spins when you’ve mixed one too many kinds of alcohol and returns your feet to the ground when you’ve overindulged in some trippy herb. With a belly full of KD, you’re ready to party on or just go nighty-night if the lure of your pillow is too strong.
No need to describe it to you—we’re all familiar with the day glow “cheese” powder. Dress it up with ketchup should you choose but don’t mess with it much beyond this. It is cheesy perfection! And stick with the real deal. There may be imitators but Kraft makes a mean macaroni, unless, of course, you are still trying to save the planet while saving your sorry drunken, stoned ass (Aha! It was your ass all along), in which case you can always opt for an organic knockoff.
KD + canned peas = Heaven on Earth!
First appeared in Heads Magazine, Vol.5 Issue 01