Lips and anuses never tasted so good!

Carnies, cotton candy, and corn dogs. Probably the three things you’ll see the most of at any old school fair, circus or carnival. Created by Texan Neil Fletcher, corn dogs made their debut at a 1942 Texas State Fair and never looked back. The hows and whys of that fateful day when Neil decided he would cover his hotdog in cornmeal batter and shove a stick up its ass may never be known, but we can say this with certain certainty: he must have been a stoner. Who else would have had such a greasy and mouth-watering epiphany!

The hows and whys of that fateful day when Neil decided he would cover his hotdog in cornmeal batter and shove a stick up its ass may never be known, but we can say this with certain certainty: he must have been a stoner.

There’s nothing quite like a corn dog—it’s a meal on a stick! Easy to eat, easy to hold, hell, it’s just plain lazy people food and that’s half the fun! Back in the day, unless you were at a carnival, you had to actually make your own corn dog by dipping it in cornmeal batter and deep-frying the bitch. Now, they’re coated, deep-fried and ready to go. Just one minute in your standard microwave and voilà: insta-corn dog. Or should we say Pogo, the ubiquitous trade name for this delectable delight. Either way, the corn dog has come a long way since 1942, silencing the whines and cries of stoner bellies everywhere. The humble greasy corn dog has even mutated and evolved over the years. Case in point, the mini-pogo, a pint-sized strain resulting from a hybridization of the carnival corn dog and the cocktail weenie. Hmmm… a class act for that munchies party you’ve been meaning to have.

The HEADS staff likes to eat their corn dogs with mustard and ketchup. Some of us (the artistically inclined) meticulously twirl the corn dog alternating one row of mustard and one row of ketchup, while others (the dippers) stir both condiments together into a gooey brown sludge before taking the plunge. No matter how you dip or deep-fry it, corn dogs have saved hungry stoners and carnies everywhere. 

Gourmet version: Pluto pups X tater tots

De-stick your corn dogs (criminal, we know), and cut them into chunks. Bake some frozen tater tots—cheese or BBQ flavour for the daring muncher, original flavour for the wussy—and restring your corn dog stick alternating between corn dog and tater tot. Serve with your favourite condiments.

Gourmet Version inspired by Mini Mart à la Carte from Raincoast Books.