Make it a large lime one, please!

After smoking what I like to call an “enhanced” joint—that’s a little weed rolled up with some magic mushrooms for good measure—and knocking off a box of Fig Newmans, my friend Mark turns to me and says, “I could really go for a large lime Slush.” Oh, yes siree, I think, that would hit the spot. Slushies have a long correlated history to party-centered activities. They are a tried-and-true remedy for hangovers—the popular flavour here being cherry (always large!). And they really are the perfect cure for cottonmouth. They go down fresh and cool, banishing dryness, calming hacking throat, and revving your taste buds into hyper-alert. Mind the brain-freeze, though—you’re supposed to sip these. You are NOT a Shop-Vac!

They go down fresh and cool, banishing dryness, calming hacking throat, and revving your taste buds into hyper-alert.

Now these enhanced doobies tend to shift mental activity into slow motion and communication can get bogged down in incomprehension and repetition. Here comes Mark again, “What would I do for a large lime Slush?” Yeah, yeah, my brain says, a Slushie just now would be the ideal solution but, of course, that would involve someone getting off the couch and driving to the corner store and we all know that ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. But all that comes out of my mouth is, “Uh-huh.”

Lime appears to be the preferred flavour when struck with couchlock. Don’t ask me why, I cannot say. And no explanation is needed for the size. We fall deeper into our oneness with the cushions trying to follow the storyline of Garfield on TV when Mark pipes up for the third time, “Ahhh, a large lime Slush.” Mercy! Fortunately, there’s an experienced bartender on location and tearing herself from her Buddhist recline, pulls out the blender and fixes us the best margarita slushies this side of the border! All right, they aren’t the authentic deal but they are about one hundred times better. Bring on the tequila, blend me another and make it a large one!

Strain pairing: Farmer's Daughter by Humboldt Seed Company